The FRUIT of my FIRE TREE.

When I was young, I was crazy enough to let my future be guide by a fire tree. How is that? You may ask. Let me tell you how insane I was before and perhaps I still am inside now.

Let us go 18 years ago. I was in my teen that my surrogate mom con aunt and I, been into this decreeing things- it’s a way to affirm what you want in life by vocalizing it and then we break our wine glass to shield it.

One of our drinking nights, we were having our wine & some crazy thoughts passed. I was facing our new landscaped garden with a fire tree that we had cut from its upper mid-trunk. We were both admiring the garden to how we were able to transform it into a jungle. Then, she was soliciting my opinion about the fire tree because it looks like it's already died at that time. I’ve told her that best to let it like that, it would be great to have erected driftwood looking in our trellis.

Then the decreeing started, I’ve decreed that when that tree will have a twig, to whomever I’m going out with. I’ll take him more seriously than usual. I was a bit playful when I was young. Timid is not what you can be attach to my name. Therefore, by decreeing on that, it has more meaning to her (aunt) and me. We did have more decrees but I don’t need to tell you.

A year have passed, the fire tree gave me that twig as my sign. I was going out with someone at that time; he was the out of norms that I used to go out with, he’s almost like a nomad artist. As I am, I stick to what I declared.

My relationship to that person didn’t really go well, our trekking together have been hard. It was neither all bad nor good. But it did end eventually. Nevertheless, granted to have two beautiful boys as blessing more than enough. They makes me more a person, I am now.

The first fruit of my Fire tree have now turns to its maturing age. He was the really first breathe of my life. How crazy it may sound my ways to others. Or on hearing the circumstances to have my treasures. I have no shame for I have learnt a lot from my experiences. My boys are my life, for they are my cane to reach my path now and they keep me on the track.

I knew I had a choice to break my decreed for it was just a game but I did not. Not saying it was a wise move nor bad one. I’ve made my choice and passed its course. What it gave me is more to be proud of that’s my boys. If I were given a chance to change my course, I would take the same path because I won’t miss having them (my boys) in my life.

Happy Birthday, Julian!!!

"You 're my true guru, my first breathe of birth, my first real best friend and so proud of you how you become now. I love you with all my kabaliwan (craziness) you know that, And for taking care of me.

As i keep on telling you, you 're the one who made me nice person. Thank you so much."

Wrong Gown

You must be wondering what got into me talking about clothing line. In fact, I haven’t wrote any article belong to this one, nor written something which could indicate about my fashion preferences. Anyway, I will not talk about my fabric wraps.

I assure you, I have no intention to play as your fashion consultant here, telling you what cocktail body wrap you should be wearing in a particular occasion, if given a choice to choose.

“Wrong gown” is my own terminology…My adjective. Defining a person who assumes someone else’s persona that does not fit him/her and what more, to those who keep on blundering with acclimation about things that doesn’t exist on them.

If it was just some playing up, or some little fancy act for fun… you may count on me. Somehow, I see that they really tried to assumed someone else place and doing a career on it. Then to me, I see a person wearing a wrong gown.

I have no personal vendetta with them, it just that, I can’t help to be a bit neggie with their way. I would have just love to see them pick something that suit them, because everyone got something special that no mask nor gown could overpower their natural look , that’s their personality.

Writing this is not to provoke anybody but to make me release what pains me. Sadness I feel, for those people who doesn’t value their own worth and doesn’t understand that being an individual, we already stand out.

What kind of wine am I?

This tag was given by Lareine, I know that this is long overdue...Sorry!

What kind of wine are you?

You Are Pinot Noir

Sophisticated and worldly, you probably know more about wine than most drinkers.You have great taste, and you approach all aspects of life with a gourmet attitude.You believe that the little things in life should be cherished and enjoyed... and of the best quality possible.And while you may take more time to eat a meal or tour a city, it's always time well spent. Deep down you are: A seductive charmer Your partying style: Refined. And you would never call it "partying"

To be associated as a Pinot Noir, I don’t know if I should be flattered to be define as sophisticated and worldly. Coz to me, sophistication can be an art of projection by acting densely to be different from others. However, I do acknowledge that the experienced one can be truly sophisticated and worldly as they could be.

“You probably know more about wine than most drinkers.” No, I’m not, it’s too presumptuous to accept this description. To think that I wasn’t born to a wine country. However, back home, I had my share of discovering to this fermented sap and was limited to some California and Australian white wines. Although, in some good occasions with some French and Italian red ones.

Now, that I’m living here, my access to know it better has been feasting. Yes, I’m alcoholic esté an avid consumer of red wine. Though, Pinot Noir doesn’t grace our table often, Little things,I know about this wine, in fact; I could only say that it comes from Bourguignon (Burgundy) region,it has a fruity smell and it compliments diffirent plates.

The rest of the descriptions maybe have held some truth. It’s not for me to say.

Now, i would like to know what kind of wine are you?

Farah,Gracey,Liza, Rojoy, Angel Roche and Azillah.

Putting Sense

I been tiptoeing my way here. And thinking that I should be putting sense in my life. “Putting Sense” what is it? I can't remember where or how I get these words. Has these phrase made me wiser to even think of it. Or just some presuming acquired wisdom happen to across by. Or maybe out of my waiting.

For the longest time, I been staring through my window. I see movements, people choosing direction & driving to it. And sometimes, someone even stopped by and drag me out from my self-imposed cell. And occasionally, I allowed them.

There, I was having my child eye, Seeing, feeling & wondering...what they want me to see? My inner me asking... "Should I see what they want me to see, or feel what they felt or just stop wondering and be drag by their flow. "

Then, I'm back on my window. Look out to put sense to all these. My eyes are tired.... I shut it down. It jolt me. I see images of people I cared. A smile say it all. There's no used to putting sense. Because there, they are my SENSE. I have them with me all this time.

Gray can be grace...

This time of year..gray sky lurking in my horizon as often as I can count. It makes me a bit depressed (Ok, a lot) from time to time. How this shade can play on my emotion. In some stage, I see Gray is equal to Depression.

Through, living here for 6 yrs have taught me... What is depression. How it sucks the life out of you and the most important of all,To Know when not to lingers to your grayish(depressing) mood. Like I would have done before. No good would this feeling brings you. I tell you.

Now, I 'm learning how to use gray in a positive way . As a fusion to see what is significant in my life. It gives me the time to slow my pace to review my deeds....And more, it helps me to illuminate the things I ought to see best.

A la Mode de Mardi Gras

My little Missy was so hyper arriving from School. I can hardly make up what she was stuttering about. All I could hear was fluctuating tone of excitement.I started frowning to a bouncing kid in front of me. It made her calm in seconds.

She started back from “Mama il faut que, je m'habille (mumbling after.....) comme à Borcéliande, D'accord? ( mama I must dress......like in Borcéliande,ok?) And me, magnifying effortlessly my facial line being asked Où est-elle,mama?(where is it mama?)I stupidly asking Where's what?

Then i got slapped by “Don't you speak French, mama?” With strong French accent...Uh, that hurts!!! I was about to mimick her and gearing for the girlish fight. Then comes the Kuya.(elder brother)explaining it all to me. I finally understand what was the yackety-yak about.

Anyway, with all these ramblings. She just wanted to tell me that they should be in deguisement (costume) & they are allowed to have make-ups tomorrow for Fat Tuesday. Seeing her glowing with the prospect of being a medieval princess for a day. My cranky mood switch off.

Of course, being a mama i tried to explain what is Mardi Gras (to a nearly 6 yrs. old). And finding out that it will not give any fruit at all. The only thing that makes her stay hearing my "because of this ..because of that" is to know, if i'll put her my lipstick. Talking about fast growth.

In any how, It reminds me of our festivals back home in Philippines. They are sometimes being conotated as Mardi Gras. How I wish, my kids would see them...parading in colorful costumes, painted faces, masked, powerful drumbeat with ingenuous dance.


Like...The Ati-atihan in Kalibo,Aklan... Sinulog in Cebu... Masskara Festival in Bacolod... Dinanghay in Iloilo. Most of this feast falls under the month of January, except for Masskara in October. Wow, it makes me smile.Nothing beats home.

Big Persona @ play?!

Here me, playing my dear wifey role, Watching and hearing the recaps of news about the BIG PERSONA in France & from hubby twitting mood about him.

Can't help thinking that, how the Big-tiny (you know who,right?) so dynamically playing with his newly acquired wand . To me, he seems loving it. Wagging and dropping some new spells in different sectors, & poor operators (law enforcers) getting confused how to interject the new magical spell given.

Wondering me... Is he boldly playing god? Reviving historical pains to 10 yr. old eyes. What good does it brings to them (children)? I don't know.

Or he's still on the transition of a newlywed, So Obliging and Giving. He might have felt the needs to bring Roses (offerings) to every doors, he knocks ... Or is he merely a loud thinker? Perhaps, people should have wait a lot longer before printing and pinning it on for public eye.

And you, What do you think?

Adornment reflects you?

Adornments are so many in forms, arts, colors and…. are not just making someone stunning or fashionable.

It’s a fragment of unstated self-reflection as an individual, within cultural background, beliefs, social status and more…

Also it shows individual’s adaptation of something new that pleases personal taste. Consider as growth.

It also helps how to project emotion. We often see people metamorphosing through adornments. Showing a part of our personality on how we adorn ourselves.

However, it doesn’t fully defines a person.

Gifted with having vision, this adornment can be tricky… it could put someone particular category personalized by the looker.

Anyway, what matters most is, Are you happy what you’re wearing now? If yes, then flaunt it.

Fingerpicking, picks my nerves

To those who doesn’t know fingerpicking, it’s a technique for playing some stringed instruments using fingertips or fingernails instead of a pick (plectrum). It creates new sound… highlighting notes & so on. You must be wondering why praise something that picks my nerve. So contradicting!

Tell you what. A bit of hubby’s other love. His guitar. A passion that I should be supportive, but no, I’m not. Though, I’ve given a hand to earn a bit passion like his. Yet, I’m having difficulties hearing it every time his at home. Playing his favorite guitarist so loud just irks me. Restoring on locking myself in my domain which is kitchen. Still, it’s high pitch find its way piercing my eardrums. Even brain humming my mantra doesn’t work. Plus, seating in a hard stool, just crack me more. Self-imposed detention, won’t recommend it. Gotto think fast before this becomes an issue once again.

Putting on my thinking cap.(think...think...) Voila, a headphone! Next level will be how to suggest it without triggering sensitive spot or would it be wise to give it as valentine present? What a romantic gist.( i know, i know... ) Evoking an undesirable howling in Valentine’s Day makes it's bloody red.

Jotting this down… is not meant to paint black on both of us. Merely showing that even we share great love to one another, doesn’t mean that, we favor the same thing. Individual living together have to learn to accept or mend its differences.

Ps: to those who love Fingerpicking check this kid named Sungha Jung from South Korea. He is amazing.( Not in payroll,just stating,k? ) He deserved to be Known in his craft.